Guide: The Veranda
For each short story we have created a guide that elaborates on the subject/conflict of the story and offers some more insights about the topic. The guide also offers a quick exercise that helps the reader examine their relationship with the subject and see themselves more clearly.
We recommend reading the short story first, you can find it here:
In the short story "The Veranda," we delve into a very sensitive topic, specifically childhood molestation or sexual harassment. This type of childhood trauma leaves deep marks on a person, even if it is "just" molestation without actual sexual violence. Molestation and sexual harassment come in many forms, including those that people tend to dismiss, claiming it was just a stupid joke, a dumb comment, or an unpleasant touch.
I've heard many say that it wasn't a big deal that their fathers watched pornographic films in their presence during their childhood, made comments of a sexual nature or just charged with sexual energy about their breasts beginning to develop, which made them feel uncomfortable, or how an uncle would sit them on his lap as children and they could feel him get an erection.
If, as adults, we are unable to clearly determine whether what happened to us in childhood was actually molestation or sexual harassment, then the best thing we can do is ask ourselves the following question:
How would I feel if I found out that someone did to my child what happened to me?
If anger flares up within us, if we become outraged, and if the instinct to protect our child is immediately activated, then it is clear that what happened to us was much more than just a poorly executed joke or misunderstanding. If it turns out that we too were molested or sexually abused, then the only thing we can do is start processing this trauma.
Sexual harassment, molestation, and abuse are emotionally complex topics. In addition to the loss of a sense of safety, victims often struggle with immense feelings of shame and dirtiness after the incident. They also commonly face the problem of having no one to share their experience with, which is particularly true if the abuser is a close family member or someone close to the family.
Even if the perpetrator is a stranger, the child might still fear not being believed if they tell their story. Naturally, if the parent-child relationship is truly based on trust, then there's a greater chance that the child will report what happened to their parents.
The situation becomes more complicated when one of the parents is the abuser. In this case, the child must take a huge risk if they want to share what happened because it's uncertain if the other parent will take their side. If they are not believed or, even worse, ridiculed, they lose not only one but both parents in an instant, and their whole world collapses.