The "Fat Kid" Syndrome
Why is it possible that most of the family is fine, but one family member constantly struggles with weight, illness, failure, or financial difficulties? What exactly is the “fat kid” syndrome?
A few years ago, I remember sitting at the airport, observing the people around me, when a family appeared. Everyone had a normal physique, except for a boy around fourteen who clearly had a significant weight problem.
Just a few days ago, we were sitting in the restaurant at IKEA when another family appeared: two parents and two boys around the ages of ten to twelve. The iconic yellow IKEA bag was being carried by one skinny boy, lagging behind the rest of the family who held nothing. The energy surrounding them suggested a natural understanding of who carried the load.
Whenever I witness such scenes, it reminds me of what I call the “fat kid” syndrome. When the entire family seems to be doing well, but there's one individual struggling in some way—whether it’s with their weight, recurring failures, addictions, or any other issue—I often wonder: what burden are they carrying on behalf of others to maintain the balance in the family?