Life Under the Glass Ceiling – The Fear of “Dethroning“
Often, I see examples where a parent prevents the fulfillment of their child's life in various life areas. In such cases, a so-called glass ceiling forms within the family system, beyond which the child cannot advance in certain areas, as it would threaten the parent’s authority. The specific areas where this limit is defined depend on the family, but the mechanism is similar in every case.
Why does the glass ceiling occur, and what can be done against it?
Fathers often draw a boundary in achieved position, money, or success, while mothers mostly do so in attractiveness, charm, or proper motherhood. However, the opposite also occurs when the father wants to remain the strongest or most attractive man, even at sixty-five, or the career-successful mother prevents her children from being financially successful.
Sometimes, half a lifetime can pass before children, living beneath this invisible glass ceiling, realize what is happening to them and understand why they are unable to reach their goals or why their performance in certain areas falls far behind that of their parents’. This perceived failure can engender feelings of profound incompetence, particularly when these children come from individuals who excel in these areas. This feeling intensifies when accomplishments in other life areas are deemed insignificant within the family, a common scenario in families with rigid glass ceilings.
For instance, in many families financial achievement is the sole measure of a life's success, and other achievements, such as academic accomplishments, creative fulfillment, or exemplary parenting, diminish in comparison. Children living under a glass ceiling are deemed unsuccessful, since no matter what areas other than finance they excel in, the only real measure of success is prosperity and they are not even allowed to get close to their parent’s achievements in that field.