Atavistic Instincts that Make Us Prey to Energy Vampires
We've discussed how personal experiences contribute to allowing ourselves to be drained by energy vampires. (More in “Energy Vampires – Why Do We Allow Thieves in Our Treasure Chest?”) We’ve also touched upon how to replenish our depleted energy reserves after such encounters. (Article “How to Replenish Our Life Energy Reserves?”)
Let's explore another type of energy vampire – those who don't prey on our negative personal experiences but instead on our atavistic, or deeply ancient instincts. Throughout the centuries, those individuals who had quicker "thinking processes" and were able to anticipate or predict dangers earliest had an advantage. This allowed them more time to react, flee, or prepare for combat. What was needed for this? Sharp senses that immediately alerted the brain to even the slightest noise or the smallest movement.
Another essential instinct for species that live in packs or groups was the ability to understand and coexist with an established hierarchy, especially if they weren't the alphas. They had to constantly watch, at least out of the corner of their eyes, what the dominant individual was doing.
For instance, when an alpha male in a gorilla group displayed dominance, everyone was expected to show their submission. Failing to do so would lead to a brutal confrontation. This attention, essentially, is a form of energy transfer from the weaker individual to the stronger.
I believe we're all familiar with situations where we might be in a restaurant or on a train, and someone around us speaks excessively loud or gestures prominently, perhaps constantly standing up and sitting down to retrieve something from their bag. In such cases, this individual has learned that they can gain energy in crowds by behaving conspicuously. Depending on their behavior, they activate either the "dominance module" or the "danger-alert module" in those around them. Consequently, people can't fully concentrate on their books or their conversation partners because they're subconsciously focusing on this potential "source of danger".
Whether they trigger the dominance or danger alert in others depends on their behavior. We've surely come across someone who sprawls in their chair, conspicuously places their arm on the neighboring chair's armrest, and converses loudly, often in a patronizing manner. They are playing the dominant role, extending their dominance not just to their conversational partner but to everyone in the vicinity. And from everyone’s attention, they draw energy.
Conversely, those who behave erratically, pacing about without exuding dominance—instead appearing unpredictable—instill a sense of danger in others. Their unusual, restless behavior suggests a potential unknown threat that others might not be aware of. As a result, people might find themselves constantly observing these individuals, gauging whether there's a need to escape from a perceived threat.
There’s another behavioral pattern, commonly used by women, that can effectively drain those around them. This includes conspicuous behavior, plunging necklines, exceedingly short skirts, and flirtatious demeanor, which all play on an ancient instinct: the reproductive/conservation instinct. For many, this is an energy-gaining tool; they capture the attention of men due to this reproductive instinct and from more reserved women because they feel dominated by them. And as always, a dominant individual requires attention because they can be a threat.
Most commonly, these are the three general methods used by those seeking to drain energy from their surroundings. Due to our ancient instincts, it works on most people. Historically, the hallmark of gentlemen and ladies was subdued speech, restrained behavior, and elegant yet inconspicuous attire. People knew that the aforementioned behaviors violated others' boundaries and hence were unacceptable. Nobody likes to be dominated—be it through physical force, conspicuous behavior, sexual tactics, or by instilling a sense of danger, especially when peacefully dining in a restaurant or traveling by train. Everyone likely encounters such situations daily once they leave home.
To protect ourselves from these individuals, there are several useful tactics to consider:
Place a hand or a book over our stomach to shield the area where most energy tends to be drained.
Adjust our seating so we either don't face them directly or we should just turn our backs to them.
If necessary, move to a different location: switch to another car on the train, choose a different table at the restaurant, or leave entirely if we feel overwhelmed and find no other solution.
Always remember, our life force energy belongs to us, and no one has the right to take it!
– Eszter
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Very good. And this sentence, 'Historically, the hallmark of gentlemen and ladies was subdued speech, restrained behavior, and elegant yet inconspicuous attire' tallies very much with what I just wrote in my latest post. The problem is when these energy vampires are inescapable--colleagues at work or family members, for instance. But otherwise I think your strategies work.
I'll read your post about ladies and gentlemen, I really enjoy your writing.
You are right about energy vampires. When they are unavoidable, like family members or colleagues, we face a difficult decision. We can either let them drain our energy, saying goodbye to those energy reserves and finding a way to replenish our energy as soon as possible, or we decide that our energy is more valuable to us than their company. This involves facing the conflicts that may arise if we confront them and choose to cut ties. It is indeed a hard decision, requiring us to examine our true feelings and assess the situations individually before deciding what to do.
I've written another post about how to replenish our energy reserves: https://esztersweeklyelephant.substack.com/p/how-to-replenish-our-life-energy