Short Story: Masquerade Ball
The alarm clock rang at six o’clock on Magdaléna’s bedside table. The young woman grumbled as she flung off the covers. As the ruthless device finally went silent, she turned over and tried to gather herself to start the day. A day that promised to be just like any other. Waking up, morning tea, then traffic on the way to work, work, being pleasant, more work, and traffic again on the way home. Oh, yes, she had forgotten lunch! How lovely! A greasy canteen next to the office on Paulay Ede Street.
She slowly clambered out of bed, giving herself a moment on the edge of the mattress. As she sat there, she noticed the masks carelessly thrown into a corner of her bedroom. There were about ten to fifteen of them. Among them was one that smiled mysteriously, almost like the Mona Lisa, another that looked serious and utterly professional, and then there was one of her favorites, Marilyn, with its seductive red lipstick. She hadn’t worn it much recently, but when she did, she felt strong and vibrant. Men’s attention was drawn to her then, for she appeared attractive and enticing. There was also the sweet poker face. This mask seemed inquisitive and empathetic, but if you looked closely at the wrinkles around its eyes, you could see that its interest was merely feigned. She called this one the Colleague. It was precisely what was expected of her when she went out to the tiny office kitchen to make tea. Listen to her colleagues, show interest, but not too much. After all, she didn’t really connect with their genuine feelings.
While brushing her teeth, she pondered which masks she would need today.
She would require the Colleague, the Professional, and the Mona Lisa — in case she ran into some fool who would inquire about her sex life or relationship status. She would certainly bring along the Indifferent as a way to fend off the stupid and sexist comments she often encountered at the construction site she had to pass by when going shopping after work. She’d also bring the Neutral Kind, useful at customer service counters and stores. It generally facilitated her transactions. She glanced at Marilyn, the temptress. She was tempted to bring it, but there was no one to wear it for these days. None of her male colleagues appealed to her, and her female colleagues did not appreciate the red lipstick at all. She got along much better with them when she wore The Professional or The Colleague. Besides, her new boss was a woman. Why complicate things?
She looked into the mirror and saw her face. Expressive brown eyes, a few small wrinkles, perhaps a slightly larger nose than preferred, and thin lips. And of course, the dark circles. She hadn’t been sleeping well recently. There was a deep-seated restlessness inside her that she couldn’t place. It often woke her up and wouldn’t let her sleep for hours, but she didn’t know how to deal with it. No matter how hard she tried to identify the cause, she couldn’t. When she asked her inner self, she was met with only silence. This surprised her a bit because she used to have good conversations with herself. There was an inner voice that sooner or later provided her with answers. Lately, she had little time to just sit in silence.
She jumped into the shower. When she finished and stepped out, she almost stepped on the Intimidator, which she had been forced to wear two days ago when the drain cleaner tried to charge her forty-five thousand Hungarian forints for a mere quarter-hour’s work. They finally settled on twenty thousand forints, but for that, she needed the glitter-eyed, stern-browed Intimidator. She barely found it deep in her wardrobe since she hadn’t worn it for so long. She moved the mask aside and quickly dressed up. She packed the Professional, the Colleague, the Mona Lisa, the Entertainer, and the Neutral Kind into her backpack. Her gaze once more fell on Marilyn, and on a whim, she threw it into the bag too. She then grabbed her laptop and dashed out onto the street. As she brushed the snow off the car, she wore the Anger Mask. She had forgotten that she left it on the seat the previous night when that idiot in a Volvo cut her off. He almost caused a massive accident in the pouring snow. She even showed him a gesture, but the man, seeing her furious face, chose not to respond to the provocation. She grumbled a bit about the frosted windshield, but after about ten minutes of scraping, she managed to leave. She was determined that today she would not encounter dangerous drivers, so she put on the Neutral Kind. The tiny smile tucked at the corner of her lips and the relaxed gaze was ideal for the fortunately quite speedy traffic.
She arrived at the office at nine because she spent about twenty minutes looking for a parking spot. When she arrived, instead of the Neutral Kind, she had the Anger Mask on, so her colleagues quietly moved out of her way. In the room where four of them sat, she dumped her backpack and laptop, took a few deep breaths, and exchanged the Anger Mask for the Colleague before going out to brew some tea. For safety’s sake, she also carried the Professional under her arm; after all, you never know whom you might bump into. It was a good decision because outside, she met Ildikó, her boss, who was making coffee and had her back to her. At the door, she quickly swapped masks, and by the time she turned to the woman, she was wearing the Professional.
‘Good morning!’ she greeted her boss.
‘Good morning!’ Ildikó added sugar to her coffee and then looked up at Magdaléna. ‘Is the presentation for the bank ready?’ she asked.
‘Yes, of course. I finished it the day before yesterday. I’ll send it over shortly.’ Magdaléna’s voice was deep and serious, just as her mask suggested.
A pleased smile appeared on Ildikó’s face. She enjoyed working with Magdaléna because the girl always kept her word and her deadlines and made very sensible presentations for her.
‘Alright, thank you. We’ll go on Friday.’
Magdaléna nodded, then poured hot water over her tea leaves. Ildikó left the kitchen, but you could already hear two colleagues approaching. Magdaléna quickly switched to the Colleague mask, which was much better suited for a relaxed tea time.
‘Hi!’ the two men, both around thirty-five, greeted her.
‘Hello!’ Magdaléna’s face was now moderately friendly yet serious.
‘We heard you got the Duna real estate project. Congratulations!’
‘Thank you, yes. We went there with the boss yesterday.’ Magdaléna smiled.
The two men then returned to their original topic, DIY cheap solutions for outdoor light strings. Since Magdaléna wasn’t interested in the subject, she mentally went over her tasks for the day while occasionally nodding in agreement. Luckily, the mask perfectly concealed her true face, so no one caught onto her little trick. When a brief pause settled in the utterly uninteresting conversation, she quickly slipped out of the kitchen. By the time she reached her desk, two of her roommates were already there, and the third was on vacation. The two women were discussing some guy. Magdaléna greeted them, then sat down at her computer, sent the promised presentation, put on the Professional mask to keep her colleagues from involving her in their chat, and got to work.
At half past twelve, she stood up, put on the Indifferent mask, and tucked the Neutral Kind under her arm, then set out for lunch to the nearest diner. The others had already left by noon, but she needed some solitude. The diner was crowded and the smell of grease was overpowering, but as she didn’t earn much, this was her best option for an affordable meal. She got some stew, a meatball, and was on her way. Fortunately, most of her colleagues dined out, so the kitchen was almost always empty between half past twelve and half past one. When she returned to the office, it was quiet, save for a single female colleague photocopying in the corridor. She nodded to her and then sat down to eat.
She was halfway through her stew when an unfamiliar man peered into the kitchen. She was so startled she could only stutter. The man appeared to be around forty, slightly stocky, but there was a reassuring strength and masculine energy about him. Magdaléna was so taken aback she couldn’t speak. Thankfully, she had donned the Colleague mask upon returning to the office in case someone walked into the kitchen, so her surprise was concealed. She was truly thankful for that.
‘Good day!’ the man smiled. ‘I’m looking for Ildikó Walker-Kovács. Unfortunately, there was no one at the reception. Also, enjoy your meal!’
‘Good day!’ Magdaléna tried to reply in a neutral tone. Even though she didn’t know who this man was, she deeply wished she was wearing her Marilyn mask. ‘Her office is the second door on the right in the corridor, but I think she’s out for lunch. We’re usually sparse around this time.’
‘Do you mind if I sit down?’
Magdaléna froze momentarily, but thankfully this wasn’t evident beneath her mask.
‘Of course not,’ she responded in the neutral tone suited to the Colleague mask.
An awkward silence settled over the kitchen. The man smiled, while she had no idea what topic to broach. Normally, others would do the talking — her colleagues, parents, or friends. She just had to listen. Eventually, the man spoke up.
‘I represent a major real estate development firm, and we’re currently seeking a partner in facility management. I’ve heard good things about your company. I was in the area and thought I’d pop in, hoping to catch a word with your general manager.’
‘She’ll probably be back shortly,’ Magdaléna said, finishing her meal with a resolve to retreat to her office as soon as possible. That’s when she heard Ildikó’s voice and felt relief.
‘Ah, there she is!’ Magdaléna said with feigned casualness. She escorted the man out of the kitchen and handed him over to her boss’s care. With a sigh of relief, she returned to her desk and quickly put on the Professional mask, just in time as her female colleagues returned from their lunch.
The rest of the day was uneventful, and by six o’clock, she headed home. She wore the Indifferent mask until she reached her car, passing a construction site, then switched to the Neutral Kind. Upon arriving home, she dropped her backpack in the hallway, changed, placed the Neutral Kind on the hallway console table, and collapsed on the sofa. She remembered she had to return her parents’ call, who had tried to reach her on FaceTime earlier in the day. Her mother had recently learned to use FaceTime and loved seeing the other person’s face during conversations. She decided to call them back, but first, she did some facial exercises to relax her tense face. After a brief respite, she went to her bedroom, pulled out her Everything’s Fine mask, opened her laptop, and called her parents. Her mother answered.
‘Hi, Mom! I saw you called.’
Her mother sat at the dining table, and she could see her father in the background watching TV.
‘Hi! Yes, Uncle Pista will be celebrating his eightieth birthday this weekend. Will you come?’
‘When?’
‘Saturday, at five. I’ll send you the address.’
‘Yes, I will.’
‘Good, because I counted you in the guest list. How are you? How’s work?’
‘Good, everything’s fine. I really love what I do.’ She tried to sound enthusiastic. She didn’t want her parents to worry about her.
‘That’s good, that’s important. And any boyfriend?’
‘Something’s brewing, but it’s not serious yet. Don’t worry!’
‘I’m not worried, just curious,’ her mother replied.
Silence settled on both ends of the line.
‘We’ll see each other this weekend,’ her mother said, bidding goodbye.
‘Yes.’
‘Take care! Kiss.’
‘Bye!’
When the call ended, she placed the mask on the small table next to the sofa and sighed. The doorbell rang. She had no idea who it could be at seven in the evening. She wasn’t expecting anyone. She rushed to the bedroom, looking around in front of the open wardrobe door, feeling clueless. Eventually, she decided that the Neutral Kind mask would be appropriate and put it on. She opened the door to find her downstairs neighbor standing there. The man wasn’t entirely sane. When she first moved in, she thought everything was fine between them. Then he started reporting her to the police, claiming she made noise with wooden shoes at dawn and that her TV was always too loud. She didn’t need this right now and realized that the Neutral Kind wasn’t the best choice. The Indifferent or the Threatening would have been more fitting. The man never realized she knew he was the one making the complaints. He always blamed the neighbor to his right, thinking he was being very cunning.
‘Good evening!’ She greeted, courtesy ingrained so deeply that even now, she struggled to overlook it.
‘Just wanted to let you know that that trash’ the man pointed to the neighbor’s door to his right ‘called the cops again.’ A sly satisfaction was evident on his face. ‘Thought you should know.’
Magdaléna sighed.
‘Why?’
‘Because your TV was too loud.’
‘But I wasn’t home all day.’
‘I told them so,’ the man replied, then turned and began to descend the stairs. Magdaléna was tempted to throw the large ceramic vase, where she kept her umbrellas by the door, at him. She slammed the door shut and threw the mask onto the floor. The mask lay lifelessly in the hallway corner. Looking at it, she felt she couldn’t take it anymore and began to cry. She felt lonely and tired, was bored with her job, and had a malevolent neighbour who was constantly harassing her.
She turned on the TV, setting the volume so low that she could barely hear it, ensuring that the mad neighbour wouldn’t come up again. She stared at it emotionlessly until about nine, then went to bed.
Her alarm rang at six, as usual. It took her four tries to turn it off, as usual. She got up, got ready, as usual, looked at her weary face in the mirror, as usual, and picked out the masks for the day. Today, in addition to her usuals, she added the Sociable one, as they were presenting the previous year to a client. She dragged herself to the office, changed masks as needed, got through the day, and got home by seven, almost as usual. That evening, she met her two best friends. It had been a while since she had seen them, so it took longer to dig out the Lively mask from the depths of her wardrobe. She was always the vibrant, go-getter, successful girl. She never had problems and loved partying. Even without drinking, she danced freely, and men always approached her at parties. On such occasions, she always wore her Marilyn mask.
Since then, her friends had become mothers and the evening parties had ceased. She found herself donning the Spirited mask, surrounded by fulfilled women who seemed to have three children: a boy, a girl, and their husband.
At the noisy restaurant, one after another, they told stories of their kids throwing up, kindergarten tragicomedies, and mother-in-laws who notoriously interfered in parenting. Magdaléna just listened, meanwhile contemplating which mask she’d wear to the family gathering. A distress call interrupted their dinner. One of the babysitters called to say that her friend’s daughter had become feverish. Dinner was over, and they rushed home. Magdaléna strolled to her car wearing the Indifferent mask. In nighttime Budapest, this was the safest. She passed by laughing couples arm in arm and some drunks as well. She made it to her car and then home without any issue. At home, she kicked off her shoes and mask and took a shower. After showering, looking in the mirror, she felt her face looked even more tired than usual.
‘It’s probably just the long week. And it’s late,’ she reassured herself before going to bed.
The next morning, her alarm rang at six, as always. It took her four tries to turn it off, as always. She got up, got ready, as always, glanced at her weary face in the mirror, as always, and chose her masks for the day. Along with the usual ones, she added the Strict mask because she had to babysit her sister’s children in the evening, whom she simply couldn’t get along with and who were as naughty as the devil. She dragged herself into the office, changed masks as needed, as always, went through her day, as always, and made it to her sister’s by seven. As soon as her sister and brother-in-law left, she switched from the Neutral Kind mask to the Strict one, initiating a four-hour struggle with dinner, playtime, teeth brushing, and bedtime. When her sister and her husband came home at eleven, the kids were still jumping on the sofa, despite all her attempts at discipline. With the Neutral Kind mask on, Magdaléna said her goodbyes, completely worn out. She vowed never to agree again, but she knew she’d inevitably cave. They were her nieces and nephews, and she had to love them.
The next morning, her alarm again rang at six, as always. It took her four tries to shut it off, as always. She got up, got ready, as always, looked at her tired face in the mirror, as always, and picked out her masks for the day. Along with the usual ones, she added the Friendly one. Today was the presentation for the bank, who they hoped would become their clients next year. The journey to the potential client, which usually took half an hour, lasted over an hour due to early afternoon traffic. Her boss wasn’t amusing, and aside from banking work, they hadn’t had much in common recently, leading to an awkward silence in the car. Every minute, Magdaléna prayed for the traffic jam to clear and for this ordeal to end. Of course, none of this showed, as the Friendly mask perfectly concealed her true feelings. She courteously answered the occasional questions, appearing calm and composed.
The presentation went well, and they expected the results in about two weeks. And by seven, she was home again. Although she usually showered in the morning, she felt an overwhelming need for the warm water now, so she stepped under the stream. Afterward, looking in the mirror, she examined her face. She was used to seeing it only then, as in the office bathroom, the reflections of street shop windows, or her car mirror, only various masks looked back at her. It was as if she had aged ten years in just a few days. Despair began to set in. She was pale, dark circles under her eyes, her face drawn, and her lips cracked. She looked exactly like Aunt Gabi did just before her death.
‘It’s probably just exhaustion. It’s Friday evening, it’s been a taxing week.’ she hadn’t applied any cream to her face for years, there was no point; no one ever saw it anyway. She went to bed.
The alarm didn’t ring the next day. Finally, it was Saturday. She slept until noon, then ordered a pizza and just stared at the TV. At half-past three, she began to get ready. Hollywood — what she called her Blissfully Happy mask because it looked like a movie happy ending — and Marilyn were the masks she brought to the family gathering, deciding which to use when she got there. During the four hours of the reunion, she explained a million times to semi-strangers about her job, detailed her role in facility management, and then had to justify why she wasn’t married, didn’t have kids, and had to convince them that her life was as balanced and joyful as a Hollywood happy ending. Exhausted, she arrived home and dropped her mask right in the entrance hall. Involuntarily, she stared into the mirror. To her horror, the edges of her face were curling up. She touched them and felt the frayed edges as her face began to peel off from her head. She screamed. Her hands shook, her fingers desperately tried to smooth back the edges of her face, but they no longer fused back with the skin of her neck. She became more hysterical, tears streaming down, and then, a great fury erupted from her. She shouted a string of curses, grabbing the curling edges, tearing off her face entirely. Her face was in her hands. A rigid mask. She couldn’t take her eyes off it for minutes. When she finally did, she looked in the mirror. She saw nothing, where her face was, only a blurred emptiness remained. As if the focus on a camera had been set incorrectly. There was no nose, no eyes, no mouth, just a large, characterless blob. Magdaléna collapsed and fainted.
A few days later, she woke up in a hospital. At six, as usual. Two doctors and several nurses stood at the foot of her bed.
‘Severe depression,’ she heard the diagnosis.
– Eszter
