Causes of Infertility — Transgenerational Traumas
One of the most challenging and profound pain is when a woman, no matter how much she desires, is unable to become a mother. Even if medically everything is in order, conception often remains difficult. In such situations, it’s worth giving introspection, family constellation or other psychological methods a chance, as it might lead to a solution.
If we cannot identify an event from our own life that could induce fear related to becoming a mother — difficult birth, the death of the mother, issues related to femininity, etc. — then the only option left is to suspect transgenerational trauma.
Although this might sound odd, I have often observed a plethora of feelings, emotions, and fears related to childbirth deeply embedded within older family members, and thus within the family system as well.
Consider that, even 100–150 years ago, contraception was still in its infancy and childbirth was inherently dangerous. There were no hospitals or ambulances. Women gave birth at home with the help of a midwife or, in better circumstances, a doctor. It’s no surprise that in 1900, in Hungary, out of a thousand live births, 225.7 babies were stillborn. Today, this number is just 3.9! And we haven’t even discussed the women who died due to various complications during childbirth. For centuries, pregnancy and childbirth were among the riskiest endeavors and the death of a baby and/or mother was a severe trauma for the family.
According to Hellinger, the family’s memory preserves every significant event that occurs with family members. Naturally and regrettably, various traumas imprint most deeply into the subconscious. When a woman wants a child, it’s possible that subconscious family memories activate, which obstruct conception.
To list a few examples:
an ancestress had a very difficult, traumatic childbirth or pregnancy
stillborn child in the family
a child died young
a mother who died during childbirth
too many children causing financial strains for the family
multiple abortions within the family
multiple miscarriages within the family
woman prepared to become a nun became pregnant
someone became pregnant at a young age, without a husband, and experienced significant shame
an illegitimate child was born in the family
child born out of violence
pregnant woman was abused by her husband
The above reasons are just a few events from past generations that can cause a mental block in a woman against pregnancy. Due to such events in the family, subconscious beliefs may develop suggesting that pregnancy is life-threatening, or shameful, or brings significant problems, or perhaps that due to pregnancy a husband might lose his wife, etc. It’s essential to emphasize that these are not conscious beliefs, which is why we often can’t discern the root problem.
In such cases, we need to focus on the history of the family therefore methods such as family constellations, theta floating, kinesiology, psychotherapy, and many other techniques can be helpful, as they can reveal family experiences stored in the subconscious.
If we have undergone medical examinations and still can’t determine the root of the problem, then both the prospective father and mother should look into their subconscious beliefs about pregnancy, because even in the family system of the man, similar conception-blocking transgenerational traumas might exist.
– Eszter
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