Andersen's "The Little Match Girl": How Fairy Tales Hide the Compass to a Happier, Healthier Life

Mar 05, 2024

I'm sure most of you are familiar with Hans Christian Andersen's tale, "The Little Match Girl." In this sad story, a girl left to her cruel father's mercy dares not go home on New Year's Eve because she failed to sell any matches and fears her father's beating.

To avoid freezing, she huddles between two houses and lights the matches one by one. By their glow, she sees beautiful images: a roaring fireplace, a freshly roasted, tasty turkey, and then her deceased grandmother, whom she loved dearly. Since the visions only last as long as the matches burn, upon seeing her grandmother, she lights all her matches to prolong the illusion. In the end, passersby find her the next morning, smiling but frozen to death between the two houses where she had huddled.

This story from 1845 might be considered a horrific critique of society, a depressive tale better forgotten quickly. But there's much more to this story.

As Ildikó Boldizsár, a renowned Hungarian fairy tale therapist, once said:

"Tales take a person to a place where they seldom venture: into the unconscious, into the realm of archetypes and ancient symbols, and thus the very act of immersion has a liberating effect.”

Those who read this tale also delve into their own subconscious and can have revelations about themselves. "The Little Match Girl" is one of my favorite Andersen tales, though I must admit, I have quite a few favorites from the Andersen fairy tale book published in the 1960s, which I received from my grandmother. She narrated many stories from it, making the tales intimately associated in my mind with the warm atmosphere of their home, the elegance of the not-rich but chic decor, the mystery of old furniture and paintings. In short, I owe this treasure of a book to my grandmother, from which I still read a tale from time to time.

For a long time, I read the little match girl's tale without reflecting on where I see myself in this story, or what I would have done in the girl's place.

The girl's situation is terrifying, as is the indifference of passersby who pass without glancing at her.

But as I wrote, social criticism is not the essence of this story but something entirely different. Something very important that is rarely discussed. It's about the power, the creativity needed to solve the most difficult situations. This story is about that spark inside us that we're unaware of until something truly terrible or challenging happens to us. Then, if we're lucky, this spark ignites our life force, peaks our creativity, and helps us survive, leading us to a solution.

One could say that in the little match girl, this spark was extinguished. Her situation was so hopeless, so difficult, so bleak that her will to live, her life force, was lost. There was nothing left to kindle her flame.

It was a profound realization when I discovered that, by placing myself in the story, I too am sitting at the base of a house, lighting one match after another to warm myself by the tiny flames for a while, without any idea how to escape this trap. The helplessness I felt was shocking.

Suddenly, I realized, "My goodness! Would I also freeze to death there?"

And then it dawned on me that this kind of paralysis, which the little match girl felt, comes to all of us several times in a lifetime. Those lucky ones are surrounded by people who, in these moments, reach under their arms, lift them, light a fire for them, not with matches but with logs, who take them to a warm place, who cover them with a blanket. Who do not forget about them. But what if there is no such person? What if one is completely alone?

My mind started racing for a solution as if I were actually huddling in the cold with a handful of matches.

I thought to myself, “Surely, a more durable material would make a better fire, right?”. There must be some branches, discarded newspapers, some lost rag somewhere, with which one can make a bigger fire and keep warm with the help of one match for longer.

Or one could ask for help. Surely there's a hospital, church, or some institution nearby. Even if one is driven away from a few places, somewhere there must be a compassionate soul.

Or one could simply enter a church and spend the night there. Surely, it would be less cold than sitting on the street in the snow.

When I realized that three possible solutions came to mind, I was astonished that I had finally unraveled the secret of "The Little Match Girl" tale. For decades, I read this story. I loved it, empathized with it, and sometimes even mourned the girl, but never once did it occur to me to think about how one could overcome such a brutally hard deadlock.

I realized my lack of seeking solutions was due to a blind spot, a problem-solving paralysis of sorts. Astonishingly, I had never considered looking for a solution; instead, I resigned myself to freezing as the only outcome.

I’ve long realized that stories with sad endings are just as important and valuable as those with happy endings. While the latter gives hope, infuses us with enthusiasm, and instills faith that life can be beautiful, happy, and successful, the former, if approached correctly, can ignite our dormant or deeply buried instinct for life, driving us to seek solutions and never give up.

Another interesting thing I realized in relation to "The Little Match Girl" story is an aspect that probably few consider. If we see the girl in the story as a part of ourselves that holds a dream, for example, in my case, to become an author, or in others’ cases, to travel to Asia, to live by the sea, to find their soulmate, or to discover a cure for a disease, then the story takes on a completely different meaning.

In this case, the external world, and even those closest to us, treat this part of us cruelly. Perhaps they see our dreams as meaningless, worthless, or impossible to achieve, or they doubt our talent. Therefore, just as the girl in the story is undervalued by the outside world, even by her own father, our inner child, who carries the burden of our dream's realization, is valued by no one, often not even by ourselves. We don’t pay attention to it, listen to it, nurture it, or warm it. Thus, over the years and decades, just like the Little Match Girl burns through her matches, this part of us slowly depletes its resources, chasing the illusion that someday, somehow, by some miracle, the situation will change. It hopes to receive attention, to be saved along with the cherished dream.

However, just as no savior came for the Little Match Girl, so often this part of us waits in vain. Because for a dream to come true, resources hidden within us are needed, just as a child cannot be raised by a single adult alone. There are always others who help in raising them, including grandparents, friends, teachers, coaches, etc.

The realization of a dream requires the initial idea and the associated desire. This provides the starting point. But in addition, diligence, self-discipline, learning various things, systems thinking, building relationships, and who knows what else are needed. Exactly what is needed depends on the particular dream. However, it is certain that alone, just the part of us where the desire was born, keeping alive the image of the realized dream and the positive feelings associated with it, will not be enough.

If left alone, it can do nothing but chase illusions. Illusions we all know too well: "Someday, when I have time, I'll write that book," "Someday, when things finally work out, I'll get a dog," "Someday, when the kids are grown, I'll really make that vegetable garden," "Someday, when I retire, I'll travel to Asia," "Someday, someday, someday…" And while we live our lives, the child within us, guarding our dreams, lights the diminishing matches in the cold, and if we are not careful, it will freeze. Along with it, we lose not just the dream. We lose much, much more. We lose connection with our hearts, since our most inner, most precious dreams come from there without exception. Those things we love from the depths of our hearts, our dreams that connect us to our most inner selves, are the guides on our life's path, whether we are aware of it or not. If we let this child within us freeze, we will lose the magic, the joy of life, and live a life in the shadows of what could have been.

– Eszter

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Eszter’s Weekly Elephant

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